Repost: Joke about AirAsia

=== Repost Alert ... not original ===

"Spare a thought for Uncle Tony F, Chief Executive of 'Air Asia"......

Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of
draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit
please, Uncle Tony."

Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over
his money.

"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the
barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening
from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest draught in Asia "

"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments

"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 Ringgit  please."

Uncle Tony  scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit
You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"

"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this
frame please"
Uncle Tony  attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when
he can't squeeze in
he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".

"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra
surcharge of RM 4
for your seat sir"

Tony  swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your
laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked
either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"

Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on
the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the
manager".

"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will
be 2 Ringgit  please." Uncle's face was red with rage.

"Do you know who I am?"

"Of course I do Mr Fernandes

"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink
and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"

"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him
between 9 and 9.10
every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free,
until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen
per second provided you use Tune Talk using other mobile carriers
would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second

"I will never use this bar again"

"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar  in Asia  selling pints
for one Ringgit...so that Now everyone can drink "

转贴： 【人生最美的7个笑容】

转贴：

【人生最美的7个笑容】

1.被人误解的时候能微微一笑 = 素养

2.受委屈的时候能坦然一笑 = 大度

3.吃亏的时候能开心一笑 = 豁达

4.无奈的时候能达观一笑 = 境界

5.危难的时候能泰然一笑 = 大气
 

6.被轻蔑的时候能平静一笑 = 自信
 

7.失恋的时候能轻轻一笑 = 洒脱

今夕年尾 明朝年头 年年年尾接年头

2009-02-16 23:15:40 / 天气: 晴朗 / 心情: 平静

年又过了！过年容易，度日难，常常听妈妈这么说，以一种近乎呢喃的口吻，减了淡淡的哀愁，卻多了絲絲的堅毅。过一个年最多也只有十五天，可是接下来的三百五十个日子，可是得慢慢的挨哦！

  我要把母亲的话都好好的保留起来，母亲过年期间又病了，明年一定不允许她再劳累了，虽然，今年我煮的年菜很失败，可是，明年一定会更好的，我尝试煮了一道数码鸡，皮煎破了，内部没熟，一盘南乳肉，硬似铁，糖醋排骨，一直到最后一天，给妈倒了，可是我自己觉得好香.

  妈，我们家是不是太好命了，什么都倒掉，外边很多人没头路聂。一碟蒜泥白肉，这个菜从没失败过，不过，除夕日，还是煮的不够熟。哎！我很多年没下厨了啦！而且，也很多年，不需要我亲自下厨了啊！ 。。。 想想，好像还有个笋留在冰箱里了，怪不得，耳朵很痒，妈妈可能又在八百公里外的小镇上，碎碎念我呢！

  刚才从网上读到，明年初一又是情人节呢！希望不再形单影只了。

哦末了，呼应回标题 天上月圆，人间月半，月月月圆逢月半

老湿的影评。。。金句”boom，自己爆炸了“

好笑，可是是不是事实，见仁见智。  不过，真的还真的好笑。

老湿 第6部：绝对蛋疼的《西游记》点评

老湿 第7部： 伤不起的中国大片

关于男人、女人

Here is something to laugh about.... 

1.     Women are unpredictable.

Before marriage, she expects a man.

After marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.

2.     There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go thru hell for her. They got married - and now he is going thru hell.

3.      A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".

Next day, he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

4.      When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

5.      It's easy to tell if a man is married or not.

Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him.

If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.

6.      A man received a letter from some kidnappers.

The letter said, "If you don't promise to send us $100,000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife."

The poor man wrote back, "I am afraid I can't keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours."

7.      "What's the matter, you look depressed."

"I'm having trouble with my wife."

"What happened?"

"She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days."

"But that ought to make you happy."

"It did, but today is the last day."

8.   WOMAN

When she is 18 - She is a football, 22 men going after her....
When she is 28 - She is a hockey ball, 8 men going after her.
When she is 38 - She is a golf ball, 1 man hitting on her.
When she is 48 - She is a pingpong ball, 2 men pushing to each other.

9.                 MAN

At 20 - A man is like a coconut, so much to offer, so little to give.
At 30 - He is like a durian, dangerous but delicious.
At 40 - He is like a watermelon, big, round and juicy.
At 50 - He is like a mandarin orange, the season comes once a year.
At 60 - He is just like a raisin, dried out, wrinkles and cheap.

10.              Marriage Humour
In the beginning, God created earth and rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

亚历山大大帝的墓志铭--知足

"A tomb now suffices him for whom the whole world was not sufficient." Epitaph of Alexander the Great.

现在一个坟墓已能满足之前过去全世界都不能令他满足的他。 - 亚历山大大帝的墓志铭。 （熊熊的烂翻译）。

  亚历山大大帝（356-323 BCE -- Before Common Era),没有迎来三十四岁的春天，可是却占领了由希腊到喜马拉雅的一大片土地（如图）。

小时不识月，呼作白玉盘

2009-10-03 17:46:05

  若中国文学史上，缺了一轮明月，那中国文学不知要少了多少的页章。

  少去了“床前明月光”的点缀，生活的确会缺了些什么；今天是中秋了，以苏东坡的水调歌头跟大家一起共度中秋明月夜，让我们一起：”博得嫦娥应借问，缘何不使永团圆“[出处：红楼梦]。

水 调 歌 头  ~ 苏轼
明月几时有？把酒问青天。
不知天上宫阙，今夕是何年。
我欲乘风归去，又恐琼楼玉宇，高处不胜寒。
起舞弄清影，何似在人间？

转朱阁，低绮户，照无眠。
不应有恨，何事长向别时圆？
人有悲欢离合，月有阴晴圆缺，此事古难全。
但愿人长久，千里共婵娟。